Better.

230.8. Better. Not that I'm having a good day. I've eaten like crap and had dr pepper. I'm sure I'll see it tomorrow. Someone help me with motivation please. Please?

Ugh

232.8. Ugh. Fuck. 

Starting Again

I have no idea how long it's been. I've had another baby. My being fat caused complications that have caused her issues. I feel like I can barely carry her in her seat to the car and back. I hate it. But I have no motivation. I can't seem to get it to click. I've bought weight watchers apps and they're not helping me track. Ugh.  Down to 230ish. I'll try to weigh in the morning. 

Xoxo

Down

I've been doing Weight Watchers and am down to 264.8 lbs.  Slowly but getting there.

This is a real pain in the ass though.  I hate it.  I hate not being able to eat what I want, when I want.  I hate that I can't drink Dr. Pepper all of the time.  I hate that I can't yet shop in the normal size department.  Who wants to wear plus size clothes?  Not that there's much of an affordable selection anymore.  I'm so over being fat, and I'm so over dieting. Or making a lifestyle change.  Whatever you want to call it.

No weight

I never weighed myself yesterday.  I did have smoothies though.  Watermelon.  It was nasty.  I'm out of strawberries and didn't make it to the store so I don't know what I'm going to do today.  Probably I'll try cantaloupe.  That's all I've got besides watermelon.  Last time I weighed I was 278.8.  Damn, I hope that went down. I've been trying for so long that I'm permanently discouraged.

A Year Later...

Here I am more than a year later. Still fat. Probably fatter. I'll weigh myself in the morning and post it. No one is reading this. Certainly no one that I know. I've tried a million ways to lose weight this last year. Of course, going practically homeless and living in a hotel with a 3 year old and no car for 6 months really doesn't help. We have a house now. With stairs. They're much easier to climb now than when we first moved in but I don't see any loss of fat. It's severely disheartening. Now I have to be in a wedding in just less than a year, on my dead daughters birthday no less, and I want to be sexy. With any luck maybe I can be divorced by then and have slutty wedding sex with someone that I don't know. I can't believe that I finally said that out loud. What I'm doing now is having smoothies for breakfast and lunch every day. I started working out with the wii again but had a weird ass weekend and didn't keep up. I should have started up again this week but we just got s gym membership on Sunday and I think I'm going to try that. Maybe 30-60 minutes a day? I hope that it works. Once I do 21 days of smoothies I'll move onto 21 days of something else. I just hope it works. I am 2 days into smoothies already. So that means that I started on the 21st. That means that June 10th will be day 21. Hopefully it helps drop some weight. Until next time, Me xoxox

The Beginning.....

So here I am today.  Fat as ever and nothing is helping.  I've exercised.  Gained weight.  Been extremely tracking my calories, haven't lost much at all.  I am frustrated as all hell.  I do NOT understand why it is so hard for me when I try so hard to do things "right."  The more I fail, the more I want to just stuff myself full of yummy, fattening food because it feels like no matter what I do, I just stay fat.

So, please, feel free to read, share your struggles, encourage me, but please do not talk down to me for being fat!  I know I am,  don't need to be reminded.  Pass this along, if you know someone who might wanna read, or don't.  Welcome aboard!